Scheduling Sex

My husband and I had sex one time last month. Once. Having sex one time per month is not a place either one of us ever want to visit again. I was an utter bitch, which obviously didn’t help me get laid, but sexlessness makes me grumpy. Sexlessness makes hubby withdraw and pout. It’s a lose-lose situation and I decided to remedy it.

I took the week of my menses as the negotiation period (haha) and we haggled a deal: Scheduled Sex.

Yep, I said it, scheduled sex. The days of free and easy, unplanned fun sex are over (well, not really!), we will have scheduled sex. His ideas went along the lines of Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday… Mine were a bit more realistic given that we’re in our mid-40’s, have 3 kids at home (2 0f whom are adults and tend to tease us unmercifully about any ‘sex noises’ which emanate from our bed room) and that our ‘bedroom’ is currently the living room. We’re doing master bathroom renos and they are going excruciatingly slowly. At least we have a door … and it locks.

We ended up agreeing that Wednesday and Sunday are the obvious days on which to have Scheduled Sex. After all Sunday is All American Married Couples Fuck Day!

We are still up for spontaneous sex which may or may not happen on other nights of the week but we know that Wednesday and Sunday are sure things. That we can depend on, at least, two orgasms per week, which keeps me from being such a bitch and hubby from being a withdrawn pout.

So far so good. I’m smiling but maybe that’s because it’s Wednesday.

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