Most large companies have a Grievance Committee. It’s a grand idea, this group of people who are supposed to be impartial and who feel confident to judge the interpersonal dramas and slights that crop up whenever people interact. I want one right here at home. Thank you.
I’m not really sure how filing a grievance works, so I’m going to wing it. Now, a little back story. I’ve been a mom for my entire adult life. No, seriously. I was 22 when my first kid was born and not a particularly mature 22 year old, at that. I was also horribly, mentally fucked up but somehow I think that having children saved me and, after all, I didn’t turn out to be a horrible mother. Not that I did everything right! Not by a long-shot. But my children are all perfectly acceptable human beings. So there’s that. I’ve been doing this shit for a long time. 25 years last week, to be exact…or if you count from day one, 26.
Anyway, my grievances have to do with the feeling that I’m moving into a new period in my life and while simple domesticity makes me happy, trying to wrangle a bunch of uncooperative assholes into participating in it with me has become, ah…less rewarding.
1. Wash the goddamned dishes. Yes, mine too!
2. Pick up your mess and put it away. I don’t mean hide it in a corner, under a bed or in a randomly located drawer. Put that shit away or throw it away. Your choice.
3. Don’t eat a snack 15 minutes before I put supper on the table. You know I’m cooking. I do it every mother-fucking night. Same time, same station. Wait a few minutes and eat with the rest of us.
4. Laundry. Great God in heaven, the laundry. I wash it, fold it and stack it. All I ask is that you put it away and once you’ve worn it, turn the arms and legs all in the same direction so that I can fold it without going through a bunch of drama. It’s the least you can do. Seriously.
5. When I ask you to clean your bathroom, the one that only you use and to keep it company-ready? Just do it. It’s like 30 seconds per day. *Anyone* can handle that. No matter how shitty your work week is/was/will be.
6. On the rare occasion when I need you to help with something, don’t be an asshole. Just do it. I pushed you or your child out of my vagina. You can carry a load of firewood or help stack hay for one afternoon. You can. I promise.
7. Every once in a while say thanks. There’s actually a reason why this house isn’t filled with turds, dog hair, outgrown clothing, garbage, dirty laundry, dead animals, and decomposing compost. Yes, I realize that all of you help with that but would you do it if I didn’t ask? Hell no. There would be dead cats and rotten cabbage everywhere. So a simple thank you sometimes would be quite helpful. As would you doing something without being asked.