Sexual Initiation, budding women, sexuality and feelings


This is, I realize, a foreign topic to most, this idea that there should be such a thing as a sexual initiation for young women. Not something planned by parents or friends…the idea is that young women need to be empowered and aware that they are carrying a huge power. Young women should know that a first experience will be loving, sensitive, communicative, and deeply emotional and that this should continue to be the case throughout their intimate lives. Marginalization, lack of communication, disempowerment are not things that should be experienced ever and especially not in intimate situations.
Occasionally I have met a young women fully in touch with and aware of her sexual power from a very early age. A rare young women who will use this power to her advantage, who will take what she needs and often, who also isn’t afraid to use this power aggressively.
Most of the time girls have other initiations into adult sexuality. These more typical initiations include the clichéd back seat gropings, drunken episodes on dirty couches after a party, and the long-planned and sadly anti-climactic graduation night Losing It. What these girls are initiated into is the world of Meeting the Needs of a Man.
When are we, as a culture, going to quit preaching abstinence while teaching our female children subservience to males? Can you see the Catch 22 in this method? How do girls choose between being Good and Listening to Authority? Aren’t they supposed to be the same thing? But let me move on quickly from here because I don’t really give a damn about abstinence or authority, what I want my daughter(s) to learn is that sex should be a fulfilling experience in which their needs are met—emotional, spiritual, physical– not something dirty and unfulfilling. I want them to know if it feels dirty, don’t do it.
What now? Well, number one teach girls to listen to themselves, to their intuition and also teach them all about their bodies through information dissemination, giving them permission to touch themselves freely and without shame, to know that they are valuable, beautiful and that their needs are important, powerful and should be met just as solidly and frequently as any male human being’s are.
How’s that for a start?

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About Blue Eagle Dreamer

Shamanic High Priestess and facilitator of empowerment and healing circles for girls and women, including a monthly Red Tent Temple. BA in English, minor in anthropology. Waldorf homeschool mom. Reiki master, cranial sacral therapist, herbalist, menstruvist, feminist, epicurian.
This entry was posted in activism, health and well-being, Martina. Bookmark the permalink.

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