The Ten Commandments of Tina’s House

1. He who takes the trash bag out of the can shall replace the bag with a clean and empty one. Immediately.
2. He who changes the toilet paper roll shall replace said roll with paper coming over the top. Never from under the bottom. Never.
3. If I just spent 3 hours cooking and you ate. You clean. So it has been spoken. So it shall be done.
4. If your horse poops, you shall shovel said poop at least occasionally.
5. He who lives here and eats here rent free shall sometimes be required to do chores. These may include cleaning of dog vomit or removing the hair from the sink drain. Ye shalt get over it.
6. He who teaches a young man to vacuum the swimming pool shalt not bitch if he who did the teaching refused to show said young man how to empty the filter basket, thereby setting the young man up for failure.
7. He who sets young man up for failure can vacuum the pool all of the time. Alone.
8. He who lives by rule #5 shall, upon occasion, receive special treatment, especially when dog vomit comes into play.
9. He who spends the nights with friends shall observe the, “You had better text Mom or she will cut your nuts off,” rule. If you don’t have nuts, substitute the word, ‘breasts,’ and roll with it.
10. He who has a broken and aching heart shall bring it here, to Mommy, for repair.

For ever and ever. Amen.


About Bettina Colonna Essert

Illuminated Magdalene High Priestess and facilitator of empowerment and healing circles for girls and women, including a monthly Red Tent Temple. BA in English, minor in anthropology. Waldorf homeschool mom. Reiki master, cranial sacral therapist, herbalist, menstruvist, feminist, epicurian.
This entry was posted in children, family, health and well-being, parenting, personal. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Ten Commandments of Tina’s House

  1. elizabeth says:

    I liked this.
    Just for the record though, I couldn’t text. My phone was (and is still) missing. Argh.

  2. Lydia says:

    I like this too. 🙂

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