Mahi Mah’s

We had a gift card and so we went, my husband and I, to dine at the locally renowned Mahi Mah’s, oceanfront, Virginia Beach.

The valets were adorable, the host staff lovely, our waitress was a doll. Then the food came. Jesus God, the food, if you can call it that, came and the pleasure of watching fit young people and fat middle aged people move along the boardwalk; the beauty of the almost waveless blue ocean lapping the tawny sands; the hilarity of eavesdropping on the conversation at the next table all evaporated.

We shared a beet salad. It was fine, though roasted beets should be somewhat soft and, I think, warm. The cheese bowl was *really* good. That was a base hit. Then I got my broiled seafood platter and Mark his gigantic ribeye steak. The waitress specifically requested “medium rare, more on the rare side,” when she sent the order back. What Mark got was medium well. He sent it back and then? The chef sent a waiter back with the same damned steak to tell my husband that it was fine and medium rare! Which, for what it’s worth, it wasn’t. Medium rare entails a red, warm center and this steak had a warm, slightly pink center but was cooked to gray most of the way through.

Once we managed to close our jaws and had sent the steak back to the kitchen, we continued sharing my mediocre  seafood platter. The huge hunk of flounder was flavorless and the shrimp were undercooked. The clincher though, was when I chomped down on a piece of broccoli and it was crunchy. No, I don’t mean broccoli crunchy, I mean ‘there’s something freaky in my mouth‘ crunchy. When I looked down at my plate and noticed the fifty-cent piece sized pile of mud, it became very clear what I had found so repugnant.

The poor waitress apologized profusely and credited both our meals. We paid for the drinks and salad, left her a $24 tip and hit the road to find some real food. We wound up at Eurasia on Laskin Road. We dined al fresco. Cigar, wine and carpaccio chased by some delicious apple fritters and all of our hungers were quenched. Hallelujah! Post on that coming later.


About Bettina Colonna Essert

Illuminated Magdalene High Priestess and facilitator of empowerment and healing circles for girls and women, including a monthly Red Tent Temple. BA in English, minor in anthropology. Waldorf homeschool mom. Reiki master, cranial sacral therapist, herbalist, menstruvist, feminist, epicurian.
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