10 Weird Things About Me

1. Apparently, I hoard jars. I thought I was saving them for things like frozen tomatoes and bell peppers, and I *did* use some of the jars for those things but really? Really, I have shelf after shelf of jars, just sitting there, waiting to be relocated. My executive decision of the morning? Relocate every jar except the Ball Mason jars to the recycling dumpster at the dump.

2. I think my thyroid is slow. There is no other excuse for how little I consume when compared to how huge I am.
3. Contrary to popular belief, I am not on Facebook ALL of the time.
4. I am the proud owner of a scary toy monkey.
5. I avoid low-fat anything. (hmm, maybe I should refer myself to #3?)
6. Peach kefir is delicious. It would be more delicious if it were full fat.
7. I secretly believe my husband can do anything. He’s like Superman, only skinny and with a Camel filter hanging out of his lip.
8. Even though my oldest child is 22 and grown and BIG, I still look at him and just well up with love and pride and wonder that he’s my offspring. That feeling over our children never, ever wears off I don’t suppose.
9. Each day that passes without news that becoming a grandparent is imminent, is a day I feel blessed.
10. I am exceedingly proud to think that my children are the fourth generation of my family to live in this house. Sure it’s old and musty and the roof leaks and there is termite damage and there is not one square angle or straight line in the whole freaking building but the roots are deep and I think that the house, if it’s possible, is happy to have us back. I know that we are happy to be here.

About Bettina Colonna Essert

Illuminated Magdalene High Priestess and facilitator of empowerment and healing circles for girls and women, including a monthly Red Tent Temple. BA in English, minor in anthropology. Waldorf homeschool mom. Reiki master, cranial sacral therapist, herbalist, menstruvist, feminist, epicurian.
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