Spring is a time when everything begins growing and becoming lush, verdant. My inner life is no exception. This time of year is inevitably when I set the course for the next several months.

Hubby and I have been looking at houses and land. We have found a few places that were nice, a couple that were great and all of them are too expensive. I can’t imagine jacking our mortgage up so we can have more house and less…everything else. I think we’re going to dig in here and try to live better in this place, under these circumstances.

I’m selling all but one of our sheep. Soon we’ll be down to two horses on premises. The chinchillas have moved to Norfolk and our precious Flemish Giant bunny, Thumper, has moved on to heaven.

It’s a funny realization but I prefer to be a consumer of delicious, naturally raised foods–meats, in particular–than a grower or grow-my-own-er. As a friend pointed out: this is a big part of the circle of sustainability. The producers need consumers in order to make money from their products. Don’t get me wrong, this was not an epiphany in the form of something I wasn’t aware of, it was more a permission slip to check out of our meat production plan. I don’t even eat meat most of the time…why am I spending time and dollars to grow it? I like tomatoes and fresh peas! Those I enjoy growing =)

Our feed bill is astronomical. It is expensive to grow your own meat, especially when you don’t have much room and a lot of that it taken up with entertainment animals, aka: horses and dogs. I want to go camping and visit the kids who don’t live close by and ride my horse and have fun! I want to be able to leave home and know that I’m not giving anyone more than they can do to take care of all these creatures. 
So here is the current dream reframe: Scale back on the menagerie. Stay here for a while longer. Put aside all the money we can to buy some land in the mountains. Focus more deeply on school work with the kids with the extra time we’ll have left over from fewer chores every day.
M is decorating her play house. She even made a garden, with a wee bit of help, and planted $10 worth of plants in it. 
M even planted one of the smallest cedar
saplings in her flower bed. 
I made her some curtains and had 
her clean the floor inside the play house. She is ecstatic.
Over the weekend I spent a bit of time weaving twigs into our wire fencing. Yesterday Hubby and Tea and I dug up and replanted about 20 cedar trees. They are between 3’and 8′ tall. The original plan was to block our view of the neighbor’s. It was a bad view when we thought they were decent people. It has not improved over time. But now we have trees and even though they do very little to block the view, they do everything to improve it. They are beautiful. Every time I walk onto my back porch and see them I breathe an audible sigh of happiness. I love trees. I love cedars, in particular. Thanks to my big bro for letting us come and dig them up from his place. So here is where I am now: I choose small. I choose happy. I choose beauty. I think these are good choices.

About Bettina Colonna Essert

Illuminated Magdalene High Priestess and facilitator of empowerment and healing circles for girls and women, including a monthly Red Tent Temple. BA in English, minor in anthropology. Waldorf homeschool mom. Reiki master, cranial sacral therapist, herbalist, menstruvist, feminist, epicurian.
This entry was posted in activism, family, food, gardening-organic biodynamic natural, health and well-being, opinion, rural life. Bookmark the permalink.

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