Suckified Mothering

Mrs. G posted this and this post is a response.
Yes, despite the fact that my kids seem to be turning out to be awesome human beings, I have to admit that I am guilty of some seriously suckified mothering. Allow me to share a few of my more lurid mothering moments.
1. I was on the phone. The phone was one of those fancy, Victorian mothers with the French Provincial coloring, the huge receiver, the gigantic, fancy box.

Something like that one. Well, I was talking on it and my toddler was trying to get my attention. He (accidentally) knocked the phone into my teeth, pretty hard, and I accidentally slapped him with the flat of my hand upside his head. Pretty hard. Hard enough to knock him down. Hard enough that his Razor Strop Toting father broke down into a conniption fit right then and there. Yes, judgers, I felt like shit. I still feel like shit. But I did it and I am not proud.
Then there was this.
Yes, that’s a digeridoo not a…well, it’s not my husband. The man is my husband. Oh never mind. Yes, that’s my daughter laughing in the background. Even worse, her fiance took the picture. EVEN WORSE THAN THAT: It’s my daughter’s fiance’s digeridoo!
Yes. We were drunk. And if THAT ^ is not *Suckified* parenting, I don’t know what is!

About Bettina Colonna Essert

Illuminated Magdalene High Priestess and facilitator of empowerment and healing circles for girls and women, including a monthly Red Tent Temple. BA in English, minor in anthropology. Waldorf homeschool mom. Reiki master, cranial sacral therapist, herbalist, menstruvist, feminist, epicurian.
This entry was posted in Elizabeth, Mark, meme, parenting, personal. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s